Our Friend Melinda

We took off for Easter in VB at about 9:15 a.m. on Sunday and made a visit to Melinda after dropping by my parents' house and getting the ham started (I was responsible for it this year... and it turned out really good, if I do say so myself). For those of you who don't know, Melinda is a good friend of mine whom Chris has become fast friends with as well. Melinda was one of the girls in our stake who I was acquainted with growing up, though I didn't know her very well. I most remember being at girls camp with her and our 4th year at camp when we our level went on the 35 mile hike.

I am giving you a history for a reason... but I'll soon get to the point... I didn't see or hear much about Melinda after I graduated from high school and went to my last year of youth conference (though that year has some interesting memories too...). About 6 months after I moved home from UT in May 2004 I started hearing rumors about her being in a coma or something... but didn't hear much more than that. About 6 months after that I saw Melinda for the first time in about 5 years. Though we weren't really friends growing up (mostly just acquaintances), I think it's quite fair to call us friends now. From the onset of her return to VB I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time visiting with her and becoming more and more amazed by her.

Melinda has a condition called Central Pontine Myelinolysis. It's extremely uncommon and her case is very severe. Her life changed, literally in an instant, and has never been the same since. The most dramatic effect of her CPM is that she is in "locked-in state" which, if you haven't heard of it, means she is literally locked in her body--unable to move or talk. She communicates by blinking out her words through a special code her dad came up with 9 months after she was "afflicted" (if you will).

One of my favorite things about Melinda is that despite her really difficult circumstances (It's been 5 years!!!) she remains optimistic and joyful. She is quite the missionary and seeks opportunities to share the gospel and her testimony with anyone and everyone possible. We had a really good visit with her Easter morning and I just have to mention two things from our visit which I think are significant.

1-How wonderful Chris is! He is great with Melinda and I think she may like him as much as she likes me... only I've known her longer!!! ;) I kept leaving the front room where Melinda was and getting things from her bedroom so Chris asked Melinda questions and even took over for a bit. One thing that I feel Melinda needs is people touching her, holding her hand, rubbing her arm, etc. We all need human touch and I have often thought/felt like it was important to give that to her.... Well! It may be because of Chris' psychology class, but he was talking with Melinda and they started playing a "game" (I can't remember what he called it) where he brought random things in the room to her, held her hand, and guided it so she could feel them. The first was a stuffed cat (I don't think it was a REAL stuffed cat, but it sure felt real...), then a lamp, then a china doll, then her niece's wooden chair. It was honestly the coolest thing. I'd never thought of it, but as tactile a person as I am, if I were in Melinda's position I would certainly miss touching things.

2-How good Chris is at helping me consciously think and consider things. Generally speaking, it takes a while to communicate with Melinda--not because she is slow, but because we are. Chris commented to Melinda about how she is so good and uplifting and always says nice things and she responded with, "I try." I guess there's a part of me that's always felt or thought that she simply doesn't want to waste her time saying anything mean or whatnot... but I think Chris is more right. After we left, he commented on it, and expressed his own thoughts and feelings about her saying nice things. Because of Melinda's situation, she knows the power of words. She has to think and consider what she wants to say because few have the patience to spell out ramblings she could want to communicate. When she spells out a thought she wants it to count. It's simply not worth it to her to say something that is mean or could hurt someone she cares about. It makes you think... why do we seem to feel it's okay to be mean or say mean things? I think part of it is that we simply don't know or truly understand the power of words. Because we have the physical ability to let whatever we think come out of our mouths, I think sometimes we don't think hard enough about what it is that does come out of our mouths.

Melinda's birthday is at the end of February, and for the 3rd year in a row, the VB singles' branch has celebrated her birthday and tried to educate branch members on Melinda's condition. We made it down for the FHE where this was done... there was an awesome turnout and we got a picture with the Lady of Honor.